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75 Hilarious Golf Puns and One-Liners That Don’t Suck

Have you ever ever observed that life simply appears to get too critical? Whether or not it’s work stress, profession issues, or a world pandemic, there’s all the time one thing making an attempt to steal your pleasure!

One strategy to struggle in opposition to life’s issues is to learn to chortle within the midst of them. Plenty of research present the well being advantages of laughter. These golf puns and one-liners will putt a smile in your face (see what we did there?!)

1. Why did the golfer put on two pairs of pants?

In case he received a gap in a single!

2. You made an 11 on a Par 3 gap? How on earth did that occur?

I chipped in from the tough!

3. Why don’t golfers ever eat pie?

Simply in case they get a slice!

4. What number of golfers does it take to alter a lightbulb?


5. What did the motive force yell on the golf cart that reduce him off?

Kiss my putt!

6. The one factor that causes extra dishonest than golf is revenue taxes.

7. What are a golfer’s favourite flowers?

Fore-Get Me Nots

8. What’s a golfer’s worst nightmare?

The Bogeyman

9. What’s a golfer’s favourite chicken?

Any birdie they’ll discover

10. A participant requested his golf coach: “What goes improper with my sport?”

The coach replied, “You’re standing too near the ball after you’ve hit it.”

11. When is it too moist to play golf?

When your golf cart capsizes

12. Golf is what you play once you’re too out of practice to play baseball.

13. Did you hear in regards to the two guys that met at a golf course?

It was the start of a ravishing friend-chip!

14. What’s the simplest shot in golf?

Your fourth putt

15. There are 3 ways to enhance your golf sport: 

take classes, follow always, or… begin dishonest!

16. The place can you discover 100 medical doctors all on the identical place on any given day?

A golf course

17. What’s the distinction between a golfer and a fisherman?

When a golfer lies he doesn’t should carry something residence to show it.

18. If you happen to golf on an election day, be certain that to solid an absent-tee-ballot.

19. Golf balls are like eggs.

They’re white, bought by the dozen, and after per week it’s good to purchase some extra!

20. Are you a scratch golfer?

I positive am. Each time I hit the ball I scratch my head and surprise the place the heck it went.

21. Why is golf known as golf?

As a result of F&*% was already taken!

22. Are you aware how the moon received craters?

Three Phrases: Chuck Norris Golf

23. Golfer: “I feel I’ll go drown myself in that lake.”

Caddie: “I don’t assume you’ll maintain your head down lengthy sufficient.”

24. Golf is quite a bit like taxes…you go for the inexperienced and are available out within the gap!

25. It takes a critical quantity of balls to golf like I do.

26. In case your opponent can’t bear in mind if he shot a six or a seven on a gap, chances are high he had an eight on it.

27. I shot one below at golf at this time.

One below a tree, one below a bush, and one below the water

28. Dangerous at golf?

Be part of the membership.

29. I’m not likely that unhealthy at placing, I simply can’t catch a break!

30. What does a golfer love to listen to from his spouse?

Discuss birdie to me!

31. I solely hit two good balls at this time…once I stood on a rake!

32. Man, that dwarf is nice at placing and chipping. His quick sport is at a distinct stage!

33. The person who takes up golf to get his thoughts off work will quickly take up work to get his thoughts off golf.

34. Golf was as soon as a wealthy man’s sport however now it has thousands and thousands of poor gamers!

35. The place are you able to discover a golfer on a Saturday night time?


36. I as soon as performed a course that was so powerful, I misplaced two balls within the ball washer!

37. Why did Tarzan spend a lot time on the golf course?

He was perfecting his swing!

38. Golf is an costly manner of enjoying marbles!

39. The key of enjoying good golf is to hit the ball onerous, straight, and never too usually!

40. I’m so unhealthy at golf that I’ve to go get my ball retriever regripped extra usually than my golf equipment.

41. The upper a golfer’s handicap, the upper the possibility of him telling you what you’re doing improper!

42. Many golfers want a cart as an alternative of a caddy as a result of a cart can not depend, criticize, or chortle!

43. Golfer: I might transfer heaven and earth to get a birdie at this time.

Caddie: Attempt heaven. You’ve already moved many of the earth at this time.

44. The perfect individual to play golf with is somebody who all the time performs a bit bit worse than you do.

45. Golf is the one sport the place the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie effectively.

46. In golf, the gradual teams are all the time in entrance of you and the quick teams are all the time behind you!

47. There’s no sport like golf. 

You exit with three buddies, play 18 holes, then come again with three enemies!

48. Why didn’t the golfer get his homework performed?

He was puttering round.

49. Golf: a 5-mile stroll punctuated with disappointments.

50. Golf is more durable than baseball as a result of in golf you need to play your foul balls.

51. I want I may play my regular sport…Simply as soon as!

52. The time period “mulligan” is known as a contraction of the phrase “maul-it-again.”

53. I play within the low 80’s. If it’s any hotter than that, I gained’t play.

54. Golf is like marriage: If you happen to take your self too critically it gained’t work… and each are costly.

55. The perfect wooden in most golfer’s luggage is the pencil.

56. The place do ghouls and ghosts play their golf?

On a golf corpse.

57. What do golfers do on their days off?

Putter round.

58. What ought to NASA do if it desires to discover water on Mars?

Ship a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

59. Why do golf announcers whisper?

As a result of they don’t need to get up the folks watching.

60. Which actress is unbelievable at golf?

Minnie Driver.

61. What did the signal above the golf membership bar say?

“Don’t drink and drive. Don’t even putt.”

62. What do you name a very pleasant golfer?

A social putterfly.

63. Golf is a sport invented by God to punish individuals who retire early. 

64. What do you name a monkey who wins the Masters?

The chimpion!

65. What are the first parts of a golfer’s weight loss program?

A variety of greens and water.

66. In golf, some folks are inclined to get confused with all of the numbers… 

They shoot a “six”, yell “fore” and write “5”.

67. To some golfers, the best handicap is the power so as to add accurately.

68. Follow Tee: A spot the place golfers go to transform a nasty hook right into a depraved slice

69. An fascinating factor about golf is that regardless of how badly you play, it’s all the time attainable to worsen.

70. Golf can greatest be outlined as an infinite sequence of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

71. An beginner golfer is one who addresses the ball twice … 

As soon as earlier than swinging, and as soon as once more, after swinging.

72. In primitive society, when native tribes beat the bottom with golf equipment and yelled, it was known as witchcraft; at this time, in civilized society, it’s known as golf.

73. What’s a golfer’s favourite dance transfer?

The Bogey.

74. “You’re late on the tee, John.”

“Sure, effectively, it being a Sunday, I needed to toss a coin to see if I ought to go to church or go and play golf.”

“Okay, however why are you so late?”

“I needed to toss it 15 occasions!”

75. A golfer standing at a tee overlooking a river sees a few fishermen and says to his accomplice, 

“Take a look at these two idiots fishing within the rain.”